A letter to autumn no.2!

Dear Autumn,
I would like to thank you for taking my plead from my last letter into consideration. Not many people do that; do something that I would like. This week has been a good one and I feel optimistic for the following ones. For the first time, I have truly felt as if you have properly arrived, because even though there wasn't a cloud in sight for most of the time, I was still sporting my trench coat and a set of gloves and a scarf. Would you mind turning the temperature up a bit? Thanks.

Found on pinterest.com under the tag "autumn"
Monday brought a good grade and a fairly good mood; I think I was the only one who was sporting a smile on my face for the whole day and everyone, hungover from the previous weekend, full of partying, kept on asking: "Can you please tell us what drugs are you on, I seriously need some to get through the day?" or "What is going on, why are you so happy?" or even "Is there something happening in your life that we ought to know about?" To answer those questions... well, I have no answer.
Tuesday brought back the self-confidence to perform again. You see, Autumn, for the past year, my confidence to perform has disappeared. Gone god knows where. I would get massive anxiety before going on stage, and then consequentially fucking everything up. It was becoming a big problem and I didn't know how to fix it, how to work on it. Everyone was saying: "Just tell yourself everything's going to be OK!" or "It's OK to be nervous!", but we all know that's a load of bullshit. It doesn't help, whatsoever. However, something happened that day and it gave me confidence to go out and perform in front of people (there were five of them, but that's a start).
Wednesday was kind of rubbish; I mean, there was good stuff going on (all connected to school, so I won't even bother you with it), but I think I slept a total of 5 hours that night... and everyone who knows me is aware of the fact that I need a lot of sleep to function properly, so I was just begging for the day to pass and waiting to crawl back into duvet kingdom.
Thursday brought answers that I have been craving for a while. It made me feel relieved and fairly optimistic and I don't know whether that was you, Autumn, or just a higher force of nature or "destiny", as some people call it, but I want to say thank you nonetheless. (that Ellie Goulding song called Anything Could Happen describes my current emotion pretty well)
And yesterday... well, that was a whole different level of awesome.

Found on seasonal-love.tumblr.com

I've made it through the first two months of school and now, I get to have my one week break and today, for the first time in a very long while, I allowed myself to do absolutely nothing today. The most productive thing I did today was wash my hair and change my laptop background to a slide show, full of cool photos of space. Today, I'm allowed to do nothing, I think.  Tomorrow, the productivity starts... maybe.

Found on pinterest.com under the tag "autumn"
I am not quite sure why I'm writing to you, Autumn. I think it might be because I'm afraid to say what I have to say to other people... or just to procrastinate a bit and think about my feelings and contemplate on the meaning of life and stuff. Even though you don't reply, I feel like you're a good listener. Thank you for that, I'm not sure I've mentioned it yet (how could I, it's only my second letter to you).

Also, I found out that I'll be seeing 2Cellos live in... less than two months, meaning I'll probably scream like a lunatic (even though I am not a cellist, but a flutist) and my vocal chords will be fucked for quite a time. But hey, it'll be worth it, definitely.

I know this letter has been a bit all over the place, but whatever. I'm happy, Autumn and usually, when I'm extremely happy, I'm all over the place and I don't care. Thank you, dearest Autumn, for complying to my wishes. I'm incredibly grateful and I hope you'll do the same in the future.
Lots of love,
xxx Katherine

0 comments:

Post a Comment

© what the water gave me, AllRightsReserved.

Designed by ScreenWritersArena